Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
