I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Life is so much better after having sex.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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