S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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