She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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