We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
