Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
