no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
