your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If I die, sorry about rent.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
