Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i love accidental penises.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
