I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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