so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
