I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My breasts were aching with rage.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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