its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
