How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
