3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i out mim tonsoeep
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