I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
