Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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