Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
