Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
