Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
