Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
