Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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