i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
