help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
