Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
