someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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