What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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