how do flat chested girls get laid?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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