So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
