I'm going to jail i love you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
