I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
