I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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