Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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