I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
