dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
