I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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