So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
