The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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