Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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