Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
