Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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