It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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