Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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