I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
