Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
