she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
