Dual....:-)
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
