Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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