when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
