Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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